blogging under the influence...again

well....
i hardly know where to begin. im obviously still on drugs. just not as often. a girl i know offered to get me heroin the other day. i cheerfully declined. amanda isnt THAT stupid. amanda doesn't do street drugs. amanda likes LEGAL heroin.
dating. it sucks. i mean, yah i like it...but when you keep meeting people who just suck...yah. it gets old. but...
crystal decided it would be a good idea to introduce me to a guy she knows. we went out. it went well. we went out again. it went well. i like him, he likes me. he doesn't suck. i'm trying really hard not to get my hopes up...but it isn't really working. i'm keeping my fingers crossed that he doesn't start to suck. 3rd date is the charm. we'll see what happens.
work is alright i guess. i FINALLY got my freaking raise after 4 effing months. should be another coming fairly soon i hope. i've applied at a couple of local call centers though, just because i need more money. i don't want to leave my current job because i like it and i've been there for quite some time....but i think if i dont transfer to another store or find another job, im seriously going to go postal and kill everyone. and not just my co-workers i dislike...not just customers that annoy me....no. EVERYONE. i can't take their stupidity anymore. god, even opiates don't calm me down. eh, i'm sure once i'm done venting ill be fine for a while......ok i feel better now.
i leave you with this....

Two-Headed Boy

2 headed boy
all floating in glass
the sun, it has passed, now it's blacker than black
i can hear as you tap on your jar
and i am listening to hear where you are
i am listening to hear where you are

2 headed boy
put on sunday shoes
and dance round the room
to accordian keys
with the needle that sings in your heart
catching signals that sound in the dark
catching signals that sound in the dark
We will take off our clothes and they'll be placing
fingers thru' the notches in
your spine and when all is breaking
everything that you could keep beside
no your eyes ain't movin' now,
they just lay there in their cli...

2 headed boy,
with pulleys and weights
creating a radio played just for two
in the parlour with a moon across her face
and thru' the music he sweetly displays
summer speakers that sparkle all day
made for his lover who's floating and
chacking with her hands across her face
and in the dark
We will take off our clothes and they'll be placing
fingers thru' the notches in
your spine and when all is breaking
everything that you could keep beside
no your eyes ain't movin' now,
they just lay there in their cli...

2 headed boy,
there's no reason to grieve,
the world that you need is wrapped
in gold silver sleeves
left beneath xmas trees in the snow,
and i will take you and leave you alone,
watching spirals of white softly flow
over your eyelids and all you did will
wait until the point when you let go...
ay de de...

updates n crap

i've been trying to post here AND myspace simultaneously but it isn't working out that way...so to read the stuff you've missed just go to www.myspace.com/punk_n_oi and read the blog. i'll be posting the same blogs here AND there from now on.
here's the latest.

but post random lyrics that i love.

so yes. amanda is doing alright. i managed to blow my entire tax refund on absolutely nothing so i'm broke yet again...and i have nothing to show for it except a bigger gut and more miles on my car...and some books. so i guess i have SOME stuff to show for it. at least i didn't spend it on drugs.
but it's ok. met someone new....again. when will it end? heh
i guess never? what the hell was i thinking when i decided it would be a good idea to 'play the field'? keyrist. but i guess it's the only way i'm going to find someone worth settling down with.
work is alright. still debating the whole second job thing....but i'm tired of working. it distracts me so i don't have to think about stuff that's going on in my life...which is a good thing, but i'm getting burned out. maybe i should like get some loans and go back to school. i keep thinking about turning 30. it's coming quick. i seriously think that the longer women stay single the harder it is to find someone. if i'm still single at 30, that's it. it's fucking over. i'll be alone for the rest of my life. stupid, yes. but i swear i can't get that shit out of my head. divorced and damaged. le sigh.
i'm in a mood. i should just go to bed. sleep always helps. g'night.

feeling a little rancid?

"Salvation"

Come on baby won't you show me what you got
I want your salvation

there's a neighborhood called blackhawk
where all the rich people hide
I was down on my luck working for the salvation army
The shelter is where i reside
Everyday we drive into blackhawk
and we pick up the offerings
Microwave, refrigerator for the suffering

Come on baby won't you show me what you got
I want your salvation

I can't believe these people live like kings
Hidden estates and diamond rings
I'm a rat out on a mission
I'm in your front yard under suspicion

Come on baby won't you show me what you got
I want your salvation

dunkin donuts.....

the story of dunkin donuts at 3am...before i forget about it

so the other night (when bruce and i broke up yet again) i was of course upset so crystal took me to dunkin donuts. what better way to deal with your feelings than to eat them right?
anyway, so we get there and they're closed. the guy waves at us to go to the drive thru. so we get to the drive thru and Chrys' driver side window doesn't roll down so she has to open the door. i giggle. that's the beginning of the end right there.
a voice comes over the speaker 'what do you want?'
i say '2 chocolate filled'
the guy says 'and what else?' and he's obviously indian so i giggle again.
Chrys: ummm 2 cruellers
Dunkin Donuts Drive Thru Guy: and what else?
Amanda: louder giggle
Chrys: *shut up amanda* 1 lemmon filled
Druve thru guy: and what else?
Amanda: uncontrollable giggle
Chrys: *amanda shut up!* 3 glazed donuts
Drive thru guy: and what else?
Amanda: uncontrollable laughter
Chrys: *while laughing* one small hot chocolate
Amanda: laughing so hard i'm crying
Drive Thru guy: and what else?
Chrys: 1 large mocha coolata thingy
Amanda: hysterically laughing and crying
Drive thru guy: and what else?
Chrys: NOTHING!

needless to say we kind of felt compelled to keep ordering stuff. it was VERY similar to that scene from dude where's my car?.....you know what i mean... "and thennnnn???"
anyway, so we pull up to the window and we get our donuts...through crystal's open door which made me laugh even harder. we're sitting there checking the bag to see if all of our delectables were all there and silly indian drive thru guy says 'could you pull into a parking space?'
we look at eachother, then look behind us and notice THERE IS FREAKING NO ONE BEHIND US!' so i'm like uhhh....well i didn't get my lemon filled. the guy says how many? i say 1 like i ordered. he gives it to me, then we pull away to a parking spot and Chrys says 'yah cus 2 fat chicks at a dunkin donuts at 3am are REAL DANGEROUS huh?' and i'm just laughing my ass off. it was so hilarious. i swear he thought we were going to rob him of his donuts. i made a mental note to go back there at about 3am every week or so and order something because it was just that funny. and now bed.

hey lush, have fun. it's the weekend

ugh. drama. sometimes i feel like i'm back in high school. people my age should not be having these kinds of arguments with people.
'you did this, you did that'
whatever. i really don't have time for mind games. i invented them. and now i'm done. sometimes i think there isn't anyone out there who i can relate to, or who will take the time to really get to know me. i'm tired of relationships where i just give and give and give, and i just get taken advantage of. i put so much into hating people, but as soon as i find someone i think i might be interested in, all of that goes out the window, i let my guard down, and i get burned.
sometimes i feel so isolated from the world. like i have no friends, and i'm afraid to let anyone really know me. as far as relationships go, i give too many chances. i let people walk all over me. i forgive way too easily. as much as i say i hate everyone and i hate love, i still want it. i don't want to be alone forever. right now it's alright. but not forever.

MY own disaster

yes i'm aware that the song title is YOUR own disaster, before you say anything.


Just think of this and me
as just a few of many things
to lie around
to clutter up your shelves
And I wish you weren't worth the wait
because there's some thing's
I'd like to say to you...

I don't think that
you know what
you've been missing
Cuz I don't think that
you know what
you've been missing

I dare you to forget
those marks you left
across my neck
from those nights when we were both
found at our best
I could make this obvious,
and you, you could deny me
all in one breath
you could shrug me off
your shoulders...

I don't think that
you know what
you've been missing
Cuz I don't think that
you know what
you've been missing

Hey, lush, have fun
It's the weekend
Hey, lush, have fun

Hey, lush, have fun
It's the weekend
Hey, lush, have fun

I don't think that
you know what
you've been missing
I don't think that
you know what
you've been missing

Just forget me
it's that simple
Just forget me
it's that simple

because myspace just fucking sucks

i'm posting in here now because myspace never works when i want it to. so here you go.


Take your wings outside, you cant fly in here.
Besides, a purple sky is better soaring for you my angel.
Youre angel, you little devil.
As for me Ill stay inside Ill be just fine and Ill watch from the window.

Cannot categorize the nature of this sickness.
A miracle that youre alive, stuck to the roof of my mouth with a staple.
Remember last april when we saw u.s. maple?
Somehow the singer showed the fireside exactly how I feel.

And we say goodbye and go underground, or up towards the sky
Up in smoke burnt down to size.
At least were still friends, at least were still alive

Take your wings outside, no use for them in here.
Bad luck to open inside, work like umbrellas, like a broken mirror.
Its getting clearer, the end is closer than ever before
And youll want nothing more
When your head hits the floor and youre lost in the darkness
And we say goodbye and go underground, or up towards the sky
Up in smoke burnt down to size.
At least were still friends, at least were still alive

And we say goodbye and go underground, or up towards the sky
Up in smoke burnt down to size.
At least were still friends, at least were still alive


Today I woke up,
Younger than I've been in years.
Not concerned with what's outside
And peers, I don't have any.
No one is my equal because I'm the king of rain.
Controlling with my moodswings,
Throw a thunderstorm your way, way.
Drowning girls is a game I play.

Today I woke up,
More awake than I have felt in years.
Not concerned with anything, no tears.
Well I'm done with that shit.
No one is your equal because you're the queen of pain.
Controlling with my mood temps,
Staring at my shoes while running away, way.
Drowning myself is a game I play.
Drown myself away,
Drown myself away, away.
Goodbye.
This is getting over you.
This is getting over you.
This is getting over you.
This is getting over you.
This is getting over you (I'm not tired of getting over you).
This is getting over you (I'm not tired of getting over you).
Getting over you (I'm not tired of getting over you).
This is getting over you (I'm not tired of getting over you).
This is getting over you (I'm not tired of getting over you).
Getting over you (I'm not tired of getting over you).
This is getting over you (I'm not tired of getting over you).
This is getting over you.

so good, i did it again

ABOUT YOU
Your name: Amanda
Natural hair colour: black
Eye colour: brown
Number of siblings: 4 step brothers, 1 step sister....but i still consider myself an only child
Glasses/contacts?: glasses, contacts when i get around to ordering them
Piercings: 5
Tattoos: 5
Braces?: no

FAVORITE
Colour: black
Band: smashing pumpkins
Song: right now? any deftones song
Stuffed animal: i don't have any
Video game: diablo 2, GTA, tekken tag, DDR, Gauntlet...pretty much any arcade game
TV show: seinfeld
Movie: seven
Book: anything by john grisham, and 'of mice and men' by steinbeck
Food: potatoes, meat, cheese
Game on a cell phone: what?! i don't have one..fuckin retarded. who has a freaking favorite cell phone game? good lord
CD cover: pisces iscariot - smashing pumpkins
Flower: daisies
Scent: vanilla, musk, steak. mmmm steak
Animal: cat
Comic book: i dunno, the issue of JTHM where happy noodle boy goes insane in a taco bell and kills everyone and everything because a lady calls him strange
Cereal: cinnamon toast crunch
Website: www.nothingnice.com and of course, myspace
Cartoon: family guy, invader zim, sealab

DO YOU
Play an instrument?: a few
Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?: hell no
Like to sing?: in the car..but i suck
Have a job?: yes
Have a cell phone?: yes, hooray for new camera phone :D
Like to play sports?: kickball, baseball, sometimes basketball, but none of my lazy ass friends like to play
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: sure don't
Have a crush on someone?: yes i do
Live somewhere NOT in the united states?: no
Have more than 5 TVs in your house?: no
Have any special talents/skills?: yes
Excercise daily?: i'm on my feet all night at work, other than that no.
Like school?: i liked college, yet i still dropped out.

CAN YOU
Sing the alphabet backwards?: yes
Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?: yes
Speak any other languages?: a little spanish, a little japanese, a little german
Go a day without food?: yes, but i hate doing that.
Stay up for more than 24 hours?: yah i do it all the time
Read music, not just tabs?: no, i can only read tabs
Roll your tongue?: nope, it's too short
Eat a whole pizza?: not anymore

HAVE YOU EVER
Snuck out of the house?: i did when i was younger
Cried to get out of trouble?: yes
Gotten lost in your city?: yah
Seen a shooting star?:yah
Been to any other countries besides the united states?: not yet
Had a serious surgery?: yes
Stolen something important to someone else?: no
Solved a rubiks cube?: nope, i'm not that smart
Gone out in public in your pajamas?: yes
Cried over a girl?: no
Cried over a boy?: sure have
Kissed a random stranger?: yes
Hugged a random stranger?: yeah
Been in a fist fight?: yes indeed i have
Been arrested?: yes
Done drugs?: yes
Had alcohol?: yes
Laughed and had milk come out of your nose?: no, bloody mary. damn you heather. damn you.
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?: yah
Gone to school only to find you had the day off because of a holiday/etc?: yah, i'm a fucking idiot. it was funny. we had an extra day of spring break and i didn't know it. my dad dropped me off. oy
Swore at your parents?: all the time. they swear right back
Been to warped tour?: no, but hopefully i'm going this year
Kicked a guy where it hurts?: no, i may be an evil person, but i draw the line somewhere
Been in love?: yes
Been close to love?: a lot of times
Been to a casino?: yah
Ran over an animal and killed it?: yes, i hit a rabbit once in the middle of the desert in nevada and cried for 2 hours
Broken a bone?: no, knock on wood
Gotten stitches?: once, i was getting out of the shower, and i leaned down to dry my feet, i hit my head on the towel bar, and it cut me right above my right eye...3 stitches. sucked ass.
Had a waterballoon fight in winter?: totally
Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour?: done it. tasty.
Made homemade muffins?: yes
Bitten someone?: yes, but i'd rather BE bitten
Been to disneyland/disneyworld?: nope not yet
More than 5 times?:see above
Been to niagra falls?: no
Burped in someones face?: yah
Gotten the chicken pox?: yah, it sucked

WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU
Brushed your teeth: last night
Went to the bathroom: hmm..like 8 hours ago. crap, now that i think about it i have to pee
Saw a movie in theaters: saw hostel a couple weeks ago. sucked
Read a book: the broker like almost a month ago
Had a snow day: never
Had a party: when i lived in boise
Had a slumber party: when i was like 10
Made fun of someone: today probably. i do it so much that i don't even know i'm doing it most of the time
Tripped in front of someone: when cat and i went to see NOFX, we were in the parking lot talking to the roadies and i turned to walk away, tripped over an orange cone. it was beautiful. man i'm smooth
Went to the grocery store: couple weeks ago. i hate grocery shopping
Got sick: couple weeks ago
Cursed: probably no more than an hour ago. another thing that i do so often i don't even know i'm doing it...

PICK ONE
Fruit/vegetables: vegetables
Black/white:black
Lights on/lights off: depends on what's being done
TV/movie: movie
Car/truck: car
Body spray/lotion: lotion
Cash/check: cash
Pillows/blankets: uhh i like both...?
Headache/stomach ache: who the hell made this? i'll give YOU a fucking headache and a stomache ache, biatch
Chinese food/mexican food: mexican
Summer/winter: winter
Snow/rain: rain
Fog/misty: fog
Rock/rap: rock
Meat/vegetarian: Meat, but vegetables are good too
Boy/girl: i like boys the best
Chocolate/vanilla: swirl
Sprinkles/icing: icing
Cake/pie: cake
French toast/french fries: fries
Strawberries/blueberries: strawberries
Ocean/swimming pool: swimming pool
Hugs/kisses: i like both
Cookies/muffins: cookies
p33n/bewbz: i like both
Wallet/pocket: purse
Window/door: window
Emo/goth: emo...like shaun hahah
Pink/purple: sometimes i like pink, don't like purple much
Cat/dog: cat
Long sleeve/short sleeve: long sleeve
Pants/shorts: pants. such a funny word
Winter break/spring break: i don't give a shit
Spring/autumn: autumn
Clouds/clear sky: clouds
Moon/mars: the moon

FRIENDSHIP
How many friends do you have?: a few close friends, a bunch of acquaintances (spelling)
Do you have a best friend?: yes i do
Have you ever liked one of your friends?: yes
Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends?: oddly, i have more girlfriends than guy friends, but my best friend is a guy
Have you ever lost a friend?: not to mr death, but yes
Have you ever gone to an amusement park with a friend?: yes
Whats an inside joke between you and a friend?: hmm...no i don't want to share
Have you ever gotten in a big arguement with a friend?: yes
Whats the nicest thing youve ever done for a friend?: i gave jerOmy a place to stay when we first moved to boise, and i gave him money when he needed it. what are friends for? he willingly returned the favor when i was in need
Whats the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you?: returned the favor...see above
Do you miss any of your old friends?: tons
What friend have you known the longest?: probably brandy. 17 years and counting
Do you regret anything youve done to a friend?: yes.
If so, what is it?: none'ya
How often do you spend time with your friends?: a lot..i see at least one of my friends every day
Do any of your friends drive?:a couple, but most of them don't have cars
Has a friend of yours ever died?: no
Whats the dumbest thing youve done with a friend?: oh god, there isn't enough room here for all of that
What do you think your friends think of you?: they think i'm hilarious, fun, super loud, crazy, and a loyal friend

LOVE AND ALL THAT CRAP
Have you ever been in love?: yes
If you have, with who?: my ex husband, and a few other guys
Are you single?: yes
Are you in a relationship?: uhh no
If so, for how long?: see above
Do you believe there is someone for everyone?: yes, but i'm an exception. there is no one for amanda
What is your idea of the best date?: having fun...anticipating what's going to happen, deciding that you definitely want to see that person again :)
What was your first kiss like?: it was weird. i didn't really know what to do...
How old were you when you got your first kiss?: 12
Do you think love is a load of shit?: yes, but i still want some
Whats the best experience youve ever had with the opposite sex?: uhh i dunno..
If you are single, have you had any boyfriends/girlfriends before?: yes
Have you ever been dumped?: yes
Have you ever dumped someone?: yes
Whats the most sexual thing youve done with the opposite sex?: hmm..lets see.......
SEX

WORD ASSOCIATION
Slippers: bunny
Hat: beanie
Hard: 2x4
Free: pr0n
Space: cowboy
Taste: bud
Good charlotte:my asshole
Red: nails
Deep: blue something
Heart: eye
Cord: tongue
Cheese: yellow
Rain: drop
Work: sucks
Pedal: speed
Head: hair
Bed: sleep
Fluff: blanket
Hardcore: raisins
Race: track
Knife: cut
Jump: beard (it made me think of the guy from house of pain, and he had a beard...i'm weird)

I....
am: tired, a bit depressed, kinda lonely
want: to meet a nice guy and have a relationship
need: to go to the bathroom (number 2 just in case you were wondering...wow, no wonder i'm single haha)
crave: some love, and someone to hold me (yes, it's cheesy)
love: being hugged
hate: being lonely, and being touched...like when people put their hand on my shoulder..stuff like that...NOT COOL..unless of course we're friends or whatever, and even then i kinda don't like it
did: threaten to blow someone up at work last night
feel: sad and lonely
miss: jerOmy, and i miss being with someone
am annoyed by: stupid drunk people and people who flake
would rather: be playing magic or sleeping
am tired of: being alone
will always: be the ray of freaking sunshine that i am

SILLY STUFF
What is your favorite genre of music?: punk, rock, hardcore, ska
What time is it now?:9:10pm
What day is it?: thursday
Whens the last time you called someone?: last night i called someone...i don't remember who
How much money do you have right now?: not much..
Are you hungry?: no
Whatcha doin?: getting ready to kill your family because you ask dumb questions
Do you like parades?: hmm...not really?
Do you like the moon?: i guess...? i'd rather invest my time in liking/disliking something that isn't eleventy billion miles away
What are you going to do when youre done with this?: use the can, take a nap, go to work, complain about studd
Isnt cup a funny word when you repeat it over and over?: are you retarded?
If you could have any magical power what would it be?: i'd be able to stop myself from being weird and nervous when i first meet people so they don't think i'm crazy
Have you ever had a picnic?: yes
Did you ever have one of those skip-its when you were young?: no
What about sock em boppers?: nope
Are you wearing any socks right now?: i am no


DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
pretty?: no
sarcastic?: too sarcastic
lazy?: yes
hyper?: sometimes
friendly?: i can be
evil?: my mother says i am, but really i'm nice and i care about people
smart?: yes
strong?: yah
talented?: totally
dorky?: shit, i'm a huge nerd

ASSOCIATE THESE WORDS WITH SOMEONE YOU KNOW
high: matt
skip: anne (no idea)
dance: tracy
lonely: me
pen: uhh...
flower: amy
window: ed
psycho: i don't know
brain freeze: brian
orange: chelsea
sassy: heather
jelly: the guy from analyze this...you know..the one who played jelly

FOR OR AGAINST
suicide: against
love: against (but i secretly want some)
drunk drivers: against
airplanes: for
united states: for
rock music: for
gay marriage: for
school: for
surveys: for
parents: for
cars: for
killing: against...no seriously.
britney spears: against
coffee: for
pants: for. such a funny word

WOULD YOU EVER
Sky dive?: yes
Play strip poker?: done it many times
Run away?: i do it a lot
Curse at a teacher?: done it, most likely wouldn't do it again
Not take a shower for a week?:done that too, another thing i would most likely NOT do again
Ask someone out?: probably not, i have before, but i don't like to. i'm shy about that stuff
Lie to someone to make them think better of you?: no, i don't care what people think of me
Visit a foreign country for more than a month?: possibly
Go scuba diving?: no
Write a book?: i might, but no one would read it

LAST QUESTIONS
What shampoo do you use?: garnier fructis
Whens the last time you did something sexual with the opposite sex?: a few weeks ago
What kind of computer do you have?: a dell
What grade are you in?: 56
Do you like to throw popcorn at people in the movies?: no, and if someone does that to me, i'll fucking blow them up
Or just make out?: depends on the movie, and who i'm there with. usually no, because i don't like to pay 8 dollars to make out with someone in uncomfortable seating, with other people around, while there is a GIANT freaking screen in front of me, playing a movie that i most likely WANT to see, seeing as i paid 8 effing dollars to see it. dang, i'm long winded
How many posters do you have in your room?: 4, dropckick murphys, scarface (i love that movie), dawn of the dead, and the pixies
How many cds do you have?: a shit ton
What time is it now?: 9:18pm

sick...

well, i had this whole thing done....3 paragraphs about what's been going on. and i lost it. son of a bitch. ok, here i go..type it all out again...

so, i'm freaking sick..AGAIN! this is the second time i've been this sick in less than 2 months. i feel another doctor visit coming on. son of a bitch. plus, i have this lymphnode thingy on my jaw, and they wanna do a biopsy on it. i'm dying. neener neener neener anne! haha just kidding.

in other news.....i'm newly single. i dumped the guy i've been seeing for the last month or so. in a nutshell...he works...well worked with my parents one day a week. they found out he's been stealing money from them. now, those of you who know me well, know that i DO NOT TOLERATE dishonest people. i do not, and i will not, put up with it. i can't effing stand people who cheat, lie, and/or steal. makes me so angry! i'm not upset that we're not together tho. i'm actually kind of happy. i was fine on my own. i was pretty content being alone. and he came along and screwed it up. don't get me wrong, i'm all for finding someone and all that...but i do like my space and what not. alright, i think i'm done ranting about that. freaking human waste land. ok ok i'm done.

in other...err..other news....NOFX tomorrow!!! i'm so excited! i don't care if my jaw falls off...i don't care if i get sicker!..i don't care...ok, you get the point that no matter what happens i'm going. i got paid today, and i made the mistake of going to the mall....i ended up buying a CRAP LOAD of magic cards...again...and a new star wars action figure. but...at least i'm not spending it on crack. which reminds me...if any of you knows anyone who is interested in playing magic, or any of you are interested, please let me know. i only have 2 people i can play magic with here, and i think they're getting burnt out. :D love you guys. as you were

damn it feels good to be a gangsta

(i'm lazy...this is the same as the myspace blog..for those of you who don't read that one)

so, yesterday was tracy's birthday. we had some cake, went to dinner, and then headed for orlando to the club. took 2 cars...me, mike, brian, and jr. were in my car, tracy, coty, and sean were in sean's car. half way there, sean breaks down. tracy doesn't ever make it to the club. i feel bad. it was her fucking birthday, and sean fucked it up. he knew he shouldn't have driven, but he insisted. so, her b-day was ruined. i'm sorry tracy.

we did have a good time tho. jr. got a little intoxicated, and got hit on by a few guys. he took it well. it was one of those 'i figured you out' nights. we bonded. a lot of things were talked about as far as our relationship goes...it was good. he's such a good guy. i'm very, very, very happy. i haven't been treated this well in a very long time. even my ex husband didn't treat me this well, and we were together for so long. jr and i have been together for a little while now. i hesitated telling everyone because i wanted to make sure it was going to last more than a few freaking days...so, no, this didn't happen overnight. yes, it was fast, but not overnight.

you know that feeling you get when you meet someone...that feeling that 'this is gonna last a really long time'? well, i've been struck. and so has he. ok i'm done gushing. can't show too much emotion. i have a reputation of being a cold, heartless bitch to uphold. :D

i think that's all for now. love you guys. as you were